2021

-

2021 has been a very complex year. a year of change. such highs and lows. so. many. feelings. i have never felt so hurt or so loved. so full of joy and full of pain at the same time. this year has been one of the most emotionally challenging years in a very long time. when i made the decision to move out of the house last year, it was one of the most freeing decisions i have ever made. and it was also one of the darkest moments of my life. 

other than the grief of losing my family members, this ranked right up there as the scariest, one of the most emotional decisions i have ever made. the thing is, it was my decision. it was not my decision to lose my family members but this....moving out and changing the family dynamic was my choice and it was hard. it was harder than hard. the guilt i felt was unreal. but every step forward i made, the knot in my stomach loosened until finally it was gone. 

rather than spend time recalling the negative that happened, i want to focus on the positive. i hope it doesn't come across as bragging, but every single moment listed below is a moment that i am so very proud of. moments that showed me that good things can and do happen to people. as long as there is forward momentum and a tribe of support....anything is possible. 

physically moved into an apartment on my own
bought my first car (a car i picked out and paid cash for)
i got to travel (with those i love and by myself)
fell in love
found a love of hiking
watched many sunsets with those i cherish most
got divorced
watched my beautiful daughter transition into her own person
became a full time single mom
got promoted
created financial security for myself and my daughter
set and achieved goals
and most importantly, fell in love with myself

any of you who know me, know that i can be stubborn....i call it independent :) it is very hard for me to ask for help. but i did. i asked for help when i needed it and i am so very, very thankful and blessed for my tribe. those who helped me find me again. 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2023 wrap up

-
Image
usually, i wait to do a wrap-up blog at the end of the year. but this year, i got lots of stuff on my mind and writing helps get things off my mind. and as you might guess this year has been all about hard. it started out as a list of things that may challenge me throughout the year, knowing that it would be tweaked along the way...only God knew what that would look like.  my initial hard list is in a past blog and below is the final list of things that i have accomplished (or am in the process of). while this list, originally was to be more physical...it definitely ended up being more mental/emotional - there were more tears than i care to admit! 5-minute rower workout PUPP plank - 90 seconds 100 lb sled pull friend party will completed/signed read 11 books warrior 1 pose - 60 seconds Biogirls volunteer break up finish 5k landscaped front of the building at work 16.2-mile bike ride around Lake Carlos debt free Hello Fresh meals - 7 weeks terminated from job job searching/interviewing/
Read more

life is hard

-
Image
a little surprised by some unexpected feelings tonight. for some reason i was thinking about my 2023 word - hard. life is hard. really hard.  i can really appreciate life being hard as I - 100% - believe that is where the opportunities are to learn and grow. having (and surviving) hard experiences keep us evolving into the person we were meant to become. those hard times will push us out of our comfort zone and in the long run, make us better people. that being said....it is often times after going through those difficult times we can say we are better people. in the moment, it definitely sucks (to say it nicely). the thing about life being hard is our lack of control over it. no matter what we do (or don't do) or who we try to bargain with, we can not control the outcome of our hard experiences. as hard as it is, sometimes we just need to embrace it. so my friends, if you are in a hard season...keep going. one step at a time. embrace the hard.  kim
Read more

when life gives you lemons...

-
there is no way I could have known how hard this year would be when i chose "hard" as my word for 2023. one of my previous posts included a list of hard things to accomplish by the end of this year. when i created the list, it was more of a goal list or things to accomplish list and to just do hard things. i am the type of a person if i am not able to complete something it really bothers me. My fear is that i failed by not actually completing the list. i vowed to myself that i would be flexible, not knowing what that meant.  as the year went on, boy did that list change. "hard" things i couldn't even imagine happening to me, and yet knowing and trusting each "hard" thing is part of a bigger plan. God's plan. my hardest hard in 2023 was being fired from a job. i can't even really say why. all i know is six months prior things started to change. physically, i was suffering from headaches and knots in my stomach. Stress was at an all-time high, an
Read more